I'm turning a corner physically...which is why I can now write about this.
I thought the first pregnancy was rough...and it was. Tougher than this for sure in a physical sense, as I was working 70 hours/week with clinicals and the worst nausea known to man. Definitely harder than staying at home.....
The past 6 weeks have not been for the faint at heart. Women have been rearing children while pregnant since the dawn of TIME. And it amazes me. Because people. It's not easy pushing through pain. Labor was *so much easier than this. I can't imagine single working moms with multiple kids...we should be watching documentaries on their lives because I know I could learn a thing or two. I have no room to complain, ever.
For the sake of being honest, I just want to admit that it has been hard.
Rearing a child is hard enough without feeling like every cell of your body is maxed out and the thought anything remotely unattractive making you literally gag.
Changing dirty diapers and trying your darndest not to puke all over your kid, chasing them around when they are faster than you when you barely had the energy to change out of your PJs (and frequently, don't), avoiding having to open the fridge at all throughout the day because the smell--the look--of unappetizing food does you in..watching the dustbunnies collect in every corner and hating that you don't even have the energy to pick up towels off the floor..it's just hard.
The hardest part, though, is not being able to be the mom I want to be.
I would do anything for my son. So it kills me when I feel like I can't do anything for him.
First trimester's gone. The symptoms have started to wane slightly...but I'm not throwing any parties--as last time the Pukefest 2009 lasted 18weeks. But still, I am slightly better and that makes a world of difference.
So I made a list of things--my Pregnant Mom Survival Kit if you will--and thought I would share the top 5 things that are getting me through pregnancy with a toddler.
At 22g (yes that's twenty-two) of protein per cup, all natural ingredients, calming effect on my stomach and a yummy taste....PLEASE AND THANK YOU! Chobani has for SURE been getting me through this pregnancy. It's protein content is insane, which is so helpful when I'm trying to down 70g of protein a day--a difficult hurdle to jump when all meats make you nauseous. I eat three/four cups per day, and it's my late night treat every night. I put fruit in it, almonds, or-- my latest obsession-- homemade dulce de leche...to. die. for. Tonight, we even used it in lieu of sour cream in our fajitas! (We used the plain version). It has become a favorite as we now as a family make oatmeal every morning out of whole oats, mix half a cup of Chobani (plain), chop up whatever fruits available and add a local honey. YUM.
2) NAP TIME
I've never been a napper. Fact, I don't even get much sleep at night, much less when it's the bright of day and I have laser-sharp focus on the daily two page list of To-dos. Let's face it, for the type A, sleep is just a waste of time..... Until Elijah turned 1 going on 14...and I got pregnant. I have to face the fact that I just can't make it through the day without my noon nap. Yes, I'm now further behind on bible study, and the house is more messy, the yard is more messy, ....but you know what, at least I got to read to Elijah that day. Spend time with him. Hold him. That's the new To-do. I don't miss my nap time now. Or I am just like this cute missy poo.
3) PAPA MURPHY'S
I. Love. This. Place. Fresh ingredients, yummy, and quick. I'm a believer in pizza, pending on what's in it of course, but I am a huge fan of this healthy meal. We *when not pregnant* usually have it every Friday, I make my own whole wheat dough, load it with spinach and a meat (which I load on Justin's side of the pizza, he's all hombre), then put fresh mozerella and whatever other vegetable toppings we have leftover that week. Baby bear is OBSESSED with pizza and asks for it everyday (which is starting to get old). But as easy as this meal is to make, the thought of cleaning up the flour and sticky counters...zero energy. That's where Papa M's has been a Godsend. Pop it in the oven and 15min later, dinner is served! (Not to mention they perpetually put out coupons so you rarely have to spend over $9 on a large meditteranean chicken, score!)
Sketchville, I know. But I love YouTube! I hate all things TV for my bear cub. But I'm just not getting through the next 6 months without TV. No other way to slice it. It has become a necessity for days I can barely walk from one side of the house to the other (on an extreme day, yes I told you I don't do pregnancy well), I need something to entertain him. Because I don't want to just sit him in front of a screen, I have found that YouTube is a pretty good happy medium. For one, the videos are just long enough to keep his attention for a few minutes without the fast editing that can be assoicated with ADD (insert clearing throat sound, SESAME STREET) ((yes he still watches it sometimes)). For two, I can hand-pick what he's watching, and I can find videos that teach shapes, colors, and animals so that when I don't have the energy to teach him things, these awesome videos do while entertaining him. (You'd be shocked how many great educational clips there are out there!) For three, I can sit there with him at the computer while he watches and interact with him here and there....WHILE on Pinterest! Winning.
This is actually number one on my list. It shouldn't even be on here though, because truth is I haven't been humble this pregnancy. That might be why it's been so hard for me. I hate asking for help, and I hate saying no. Dangerous combination :/.
I've recently talked to moms who are wiser than me, and they are telling me to ACCEPT help when offered. I don't think I've done that much this pregnancy.
One mom was telling me she was sick for nine months, and had both a house cleaner AND a nanny to watch her toddler during almost her entire pregnancy. She was a stay-at-home, and a woman who doesn't have a lazy bone in her body.
I guess it's okay to accept help sometimes.
Maybe I have been sick because God has been wanting me to learn humility...learn to be the weak one. Reminds me of the verse, "When I am weak, then I am strong" (1Cor).
This is a verse I've been clinging to, I mean clinging to, this pregnancy. It almost brings tears to my eyes as it makes me reflect on the gravity of the task set before me.
Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, 18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
2 Corinth 4:16-18
eternal weight of glory.