Elijah (very concerned): My Butt hurts.
Me: Oh, dear Elijah, let me look (starting to pull up the back of his shirt so I can look at his bum)
Elijah: (Giggles) No, mommy! That's not my butt! THIS (pointing to his side) IS my butt!! (giggles) For his entire life, he has believed a "butt" is just below his armpit.
Loading Elijah into the car.
Me (in a normal tone): Elijah---climb into the car, okay we're in a hurry
Elijah: (snapping) MOMMY…..(pauses to think about it)….If you yell at Ewijah…..(points finger in the air)….God WILL spank you…."
My husband is known for his loud, death-rattle sneezes. Elijah is upstairs in bed, and Justin and I are downstairs watching a movie.
We continue to watch movie.
Suddenly, Hears door opening upstairs, and the sound of quick pitter-pattering of feet.
Elijah(wide-eyed, frazzled hair, half awake, yelling at the top of his lungs): IS EVERY ONE OKAY DOWN DERE???
Us: ……..Uh, yeah……
Elijah: did you guys HEAR dat?!!!!!! IS EVERYONE OKAY??
Us: Daddy just sneezed, Elijah....go back to bed....
Elijah: WHATD YOU SAY
Us: Daddy sneezed...everything is okay, just go back to bed...
Elijah: OH...OKAY....Daddy....jus.....jus....be very, very careful. (turns, and returns groggily to his room slamming the door behind him).