Quotes from My Children: 3 Year Old Edition

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Yesterday, I started talking fast and loud, explaining to Elijah why he needed to hurry up and get his shoes on and where we were going. He stops me and says (??):
Elijah: Okay, mommy, say, "I…(index finger bouncing to each word) .WOVE (love)…..GOD.."
Me: (confused) I….love….GOd?
Elijah: Say it again, mommy, say say it slowly.
Me: I…love…God?
Elijah: Okay, now take a deep bweaf (breath) (inhales for me)
Me; Inhaling
Elijah: Okay. Now you feel Better?
Christian counseling at it's finest.
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Our family 'secret' is that we bribe our kids with food to get them to poo. (Yes, sorry I just went there). Elijah has learned that if he goes #2, he will get a _____, cookie, candy, piece of chocolate, whatever we have around.
At Starbucks:
Justin, holding Elijah innocently. Elijah sees cake pops.
Elijah: DADDY!!!! I NEED TO GO POO POO!!! I HAVE TO GO POO POO!! Do you see it? (pointing at cake pop) (starts to whine/cry/sing): I NEED TO GO POO POO!!!
#classicalconditioning
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Elijah is up way too early one morning. I, half-asleep, grab him out of bed and abduct him to our bed.
Me: Elijah, it's cuddle time now.
Elijah: The sun's awake!
Me: It's too early. We're going back to bed, okay. We're going to cuddle and go back to sleep with mommy.
Elijah: Okay, mommy.

Long silence. He's wrapped up in my arms, he has one arm under my neck, the other around my face. This moment is perfection. He is stroking my face with his little fingers. A minute passes, and I am almost alsleep when I feel him pushing his mouth right up next to my ear: 

A raspy whisper.

Elijah: Good morning, *Cindy.
#why. #awful #don'tcallmeBYMYNAME #awkward

Quotes from My Children: 3 Year Old Edition

Riding in the car the other day:
Elijah: It's almost CHRISTMAS, mommy
Me: Nope. It's September.
Elijah: But it IS. It IS almost Christmas
Me: No, it's not Elijah.
Elijah: Christmas is coming. 
Me: It's super far from now.
Elijah: No. Christmas is ALMOST here.
Me: It's not coming 
Elijah: Yes, it IS, it IS coming
Me: Elijah, it's three months away, you---
Elijah: NOT TODAY…but AFTER today…it IS coming.
#endofconversation #igive #youandhobbylobby



He's supposed to be napping and I hear rumbling upstairs so I go to check. I walk into his room and from the door I can already see stuffing overflowing from his bed.
Me: ELIJAH! WHat did you DO? WHERE is that coming from? (Feeling sorry for whatever stuffed animal it used to be)
Elijah: (waves hand in front of me, shaking it like in a "calm down" kind of way) Oh, no, it's OKAY, mommy, I was just buiwding (building) cwouds. CWOUDS, mommy, (pointing finger at me) It's OKAY. They. Are. Just. CWOUDS. (clouds)

I realized he had taken the stuffing out of his pillow, all of it, and surrounding his crib he has clusters of 'cloud' in each quadrant.
(his pillow is still lumpy, which he uncomfortably remembers when going to bed and explains to me, "My pillow doesn't feel good because remember when I make CWOUDS?)



Elijah had been asking a lot lately about our rings, so Justin explained to him one morning that they were wedding rings, we got at our wedding. I'm putting his shoes on that morning.
Me: Are you SO excited to go to school today, Elijah?? 
Elijah: YEAH. Are you so excited to get MAWWIED today, mommy? (married)
Me: Uh…well
Elijah: See, your wing. It's SO pretty. (holding my hand) Daddy give you this wing, and you give daddy a wing, and you get MAWWIED and you are so, SO excited for you!!!!(shaking my arm with excitement)
Me: I guess,…well, it is kind of exciting isn't it.
#admiringmyringallday #newappreciationforourweddingday